Recently i gave up on enlightenment or liberation... Out of fear of death... But no more

This is gonna be dense.

Enlightenment has been compared many times by almost all traditions who know of it as the death of the self or the ego... I took it a level further.

To understand better we have to understand the chakra associated with enlightenment or liberation. The sahasrara or crown chakra located at the tip of the top of the head... The highest chakra a human can open.

Think of it as a bottle cap that keeps your consciousness in your body like water in a bottle. As a consequence of this bottle cap you feel like an individual separate from everyone and everything else. If you open it you become free of the body and more life gets to enter...

 My problem with that idea is that as much as the new life gets to enter... The old life gets to leave. And that was a big issue for me. Meaning another life or another being gets to enjoy my hard work towards the ecstasy... And i become pure existence... Man i didn't like that. But i made a big assumption in that theory that i may have corrected.

I have assumed that we are actually consciousness... What??? Of course we are... We are not mind or body we must be consciousness. Well... Maybe not.

Many traditions that speak of enlightenment say that we are actually nothing.. and i think i have come to know what that means.

We are a consequence of a process. not a physical or non physical object or material. In analogy when light hits an object and enters your eyes... Your brain translates the light signals into electric signals and the mind gives you an image... The image doesn't actually exist in your brain... But you see it.

What I'm trying to say is.. when consciousness interacts with another part that you "own" we get "you". You are neither this or that. You are just the consequence of the process. I am not sure what is that part that you own yet. But i am quite confident a few of those are needed to give you an experience of a being with awareness.

Thank you.. with courage and love.